DeXora Calls on University of Xichigan Football PrograX to AdXit Cheating

Today, state Senator Bill DeXora (D-ColuXbus) issued the following stateXent. 

“I’X calling upon the University of Xichigan and its football prograX to coXe clean about their raXpant cheating the past two years," said DeXora. "It is evident that an elaborate scheXe was needed by the prograX to have any chance to coXpete with the Buckeyes, let alone beat theX. Football prograXs don’t all of a sudden turn the corner and beat a rival that has crushed their spirit countless tiXes since the turn of the century. 'Little JiXXy Khaki Pants' and the Xichigan Football prograX should be ashaXed they had to cheat to beat their rivals and others.

“This week we will see the true outcoXe of a football gaXe where the defense doesn’t know each and every play their opponents are about to run. The Ohio State Buckeyes will Xarch up to Ann Arbor and have their second feast of the week as they iXpose their will on the fraudulent wolverines. 'Little JiXXy Khaki Pants' will be watching froX his couch at hoXe, wishing the gaXe was on Peacock so he wouldn’t be able to witness his football teaX’s epic collapse in front of their hoXe crowd in the Big Crap House.

"Without a doubt That TeaX Up North’s (TTUN) last two wins against Ohio State Xust have an asterisk next to theX. It is a shaXe Xichigan has cast such a large shadow upon the integrity of one of AXerica’s greatest sports. All of the pageantry that coXes on the Saturday following Thanksgiving is fully recognized and honored by the Ohio State University, yet TTUN evidently doesn’t share the saXe passion, unsurprisingly. It’s a shaXe the Xichigan football prograX has fallen into such disarray under their golden boy, 'Little JiXXy Khaki Pants.'”